• The first thing one should do is to tell the unrequited person that no further contact of any kind is allowed.
  • As early as possible, tell him/her that the relationship is over.
  • Be as firm, assertive and direct as possible.
  • Avoid using tones or phrases that could be misconstrued as implying a second chance or playing hard to get.   Oftentimes, when the victim tries to "be nice" and to "spare the feelings" of the person being rejected, the unrequited lover sometimes perceives mixed messages.
  • Be respectful.
  • Discipline yourself to avoid contact with the stalker: This includes ANY and ALL contact (calling to ask for someone else's phone number, counter-harassing, sending letters back) which could easily be misinterpreted by the stalker.
  • Documentation is one of the most important aspects of stalking threat management. For a sample stalking logbook, click here.