People often wonder if there are signs that might warn about potential violence in a relationship. The following is adapted from the National Technical Assistance Center of Family Violence.

  • Did your partner grow up in a violent family? Some people who grew up with violence may use it when faced with problems.
  • Does your partner tend to use force to “solve” problems?  Does your partner have a quick temper? 
  • Does your partner punch walls or things when upset? Is your partner cruel to animals?
  • Does your partner have a poor self-image that tries to cover up by being tough?
  • Does your partner have strong old-fashioned beliefs about the roles of men and women?
  • Is your partner jealous of you, your other friends and family?  Does your partner keep tabs on you?  Does your partner frequently accuse you of cheating? 
  • When your partner is angry, do you feel afraid of your partner?  Do you find that trying not to make your partner angry is a major part of your life?
  • Does your partner treat you roughly or physically force you to do what you don’t want to do; such as keeping you from walking away from an argument?
  • Does your partner play with guns or other weapons? Does your partner talk about using them against people to “get even?”
  • Does your partner experience extreme highs and lows? Is your partner really kind at one time and really cruel at others? Does your partner have an unpredictable and confusing personality?
  • Does your partner blame others for their actions? Does your partner not believe that their violent actions have negative consequences? Does your partner have no awareness of/or guilt for violating their partners boundaries.
  • Abuse during dating is a guarantee of abuse later, marriage or living together will not change and abusive partner.

Not sure if you are in an abusive relationship? Take this quick quiz and find out.