The estimated percentage of adult individuals who identify as LGBTQ+ in the United States according to Gallup News is 9.3% (reported in 2024), which is a .3% increase from the prior estimate in 2023. Queer relationships are disproportionately affected by rates of intimate partner violence with 44% of lesbian women and 61% of bisexual women having experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner at some point in their life. Whereas, 35% of heterosexual women have a similar experience. As for gay men 26% experience rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by a partner at some point in their life, with 37% of bisexual men having similar experiences. This is compared to 29% of heterosexual men.
Queer relationships can take all the same forms as heterosexual ones in terms of physical violence, emotional abuse, and financial control/coercion. However, there is an added layer that comes with being a marginalized identity. Identity-based tactics often target specific vulnerabilities that include: outing threats, isolation from community, weaponizing identity and gatekeeping affirming care. These identity-based tactics are effective because they exploit valid fears of discrimination, of not being believed, and losing the chosen family that folks rely on when the biological family isn’t affirming or safe.
Not only are there nuanced forms of abuse that arise in queer intimate relationships, but there are systemic barriers for survivors who seek help. Queer survivors must face their fear of reinforcing negative stereotypes that are seen in the media. Queer relationships sometimes get described as dysfunctional, dangerous to the community, and/or an attack on traditional marriage by many media outlets. Would you feel comfortable talking about the harm being caused to you by someone you love when social media and media outlets speak about LGBTQ+ individuals in this manner? As a gay identifying individual who lives in the San Luis Valley, that definitely would be a barrier for me, even considering I have protective factors like a supportive family, trusted and safe friendships and coworkers who care about me.
Additionally, service systems including police departments, shelters, healthcare and other human services misidentify parties’ roles involved in the situation, and may arrest both partners or deny services to them based on their gender or sexual identity. Denial of services occurs to 44% of LGBTQ+ survivors, and about 30% of the time same-sex partners both get arrested in a domestic dispute. Typically, individuals who identify as transgender are often a second thought in service provision.
To add to the complexity of intimate partner violence: survivors may fear negative social consequences and repercussions for their partner if their abuse is made public. This is not a flaw but merely a complex reality of what it is like to navigate the queer relationship experience and survival of a community that is marginalized. In light of all the heavy issues that go through a queer relationship there are protective factors for LGBTQ+ survivors when they have access to the special supports. Even healing is possible.
Other protective factors for survivors include affirming and accurate language for describing abuse is an integral part of the process. Downplaying and dismissing it as “drama” or “that’s just how it is” are clear indicators that you are not understanding of the situation and may shut individuals down. Service providers who are culturally competent and advocate for their LGBTQ+ participants help relieve the barriers that queer people face when they need to educate their provider about their own identity.
In my personal experience, I believe that Tu Casa, Inc. and many of their partners, understand that queer survivors need services that are designed with them in mind, and not just deemed affirmative by placing a SafeSpace sticker on the entrance door. I would say their staff and resources are non-judgmental, identity-affirming, trained to understand identity-based abuse, provide safe referrals to partners who are competent in LGBTQ+ issues, trauma-informed, confidential, and use community connection as a tool for healing the harm done. If you are experiencing intimate partner abuse or unsure and just need to talk through what you are experiencing, Tu Casa, Inc and their partners believe you and are there to support you.
Resources:
Corey, J., Duggan, M., & Travers, Á. (2023). Risk and Protective Factors for Intimate Partner Violence Against Bisexual Victims: A Systematic Scoping Review. Trauma, violence & abuse, 24(4), 2130–2142. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380221084749
Lim, G., Lusby, S., Carman, M. et al. Solidarity with IPV Perpetrators as a Challenge to Help-Seeking for LGBTQ + Victim-Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence. J Fam Viol (2025). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-025-00942-w
Cole, T., Harvey, O., Healy, J. C., & Smith, C. (2025). Contemporary Treatment of Crime Victims/Survivors: Barriers Faced by Minority Groups in Accessing and Utilizing Domestic Abuse Services. Behavioral sciences (Basel, Switzerland), 15(2), 103. https://doi.org/10.3390/bs15020103
Jones, J(2025, February 20). LGBTQ+ Identification in U.S. Rises to 9.3%. Gallup. https://news.gallup.com/poll/656708/lgbtq-identification-rises.aspx