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Written by a Survivor
My nervous system was under fire from the start—between the sexual abuse from my siblings and the mental abuse from my grandmother, I grew up in a war zone. However, I want to be clear: identifying that trauma is part of my healing. I’m no longer that trapped child. I’ve done the work to understand why my body reacts the way it does. I’m not “damaged,” I’m highly tuned. I recognize the roots of my past, and that recognition is exactly how I stepped out of the cycle.
When I was being trafficked and abused by my oldest child’s paternal grandfather, I was in a position where I had to be a shield for her and another little girl. I had to navigate a landscape of constant surveillance and psychological manipulation, where every move was monitored and every choice was coerced. That was a heavy burden, but looking back, I see my own strength even then. I survived an isolation that was meant to break me, and I kept others safe while doing it. Healing for me has meant acknowledging that I was a hero in my own story, even when I was a victim of a system designed to exploit me.
My shield is still there—I am hyper-aware, I am protective, and I am a single mom who refuses to let her kids experience what I did. But there is a difference between a shield held by a wounded person and a shield held by a healed person. I am healed. I have processed the S.A., I have survived the trafficking, and I have found my voice. The hyper-vigilance I carry was forged in years of having to read a room in seconds, anticipating the moods and movements of those who sought to control me. My guard isn’t up because I’m currently afraid; it’s up because I value my peace and my children’s safety above all else. I’m learning that I can be a fortress and a healed woman at the same time. I share my story for Sexual Assault Awareness Month not to remain a victim of my past, but to stand as a witness to what is possible on the other side.
For a long time, the world told me that I was broken because of what I experienced, but I am here to say that I am healed. My hyper-vigilance isn’t a symptom of a wound; it is the shield of a woman who knows the value of boundaries. My “mom mode” isn’t just survival; it is the intentional, fierce protection of a cycle that ends with me. I bring awareness to SAAM because silence is where abuse thrives, but truth is where it dies. I speak so that the little girl who feels trapped today knows she can become the woman who is free tomorrow. I am proof that you can walk through the fire, protect others while you’re in it, and come out the other side with your soul intact. I am a single mom, I am a survivor, and I am a fortress—and I am finally safe enough to just be.
I share this story to bring awareness because we need to change how we see survivors. To redefine what “healed” looks like. Second, to expose shadows. By speaking about the abuse by the hands of a sibling, my daughter’s paternal grandfather, and the way isolation was used to keep the trafficking hidden, I’m reminding the world that sexual assault often wears a familiar face. Awareness means being brave enough to look at all family dynamics—biological or otherwise—to ensure our children are truly safe. To prove the cycle of trauma can be broken. I want the community to see that even after years of isolation and trafficking, you can rebuild. My story is proof that you can be the shield your children need without being consumed by the fire you survived. That’s why we speak up; so the next generation doesn’t have to.
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