SAAM: Supporting Survivors of Sexual Assault
Written by: Megan Lang, Program Director/SART Coordinator
Sexual Assault & Sexual Violence….most people hear these words and unconsciously put a distance between themselves and these acts- they think, “it would never happen to me”. Thoughts like this are a way to make ourselves feel safe- but the reality is that sexual assault and violence can happen to anyone at any time. Sexual assault pervades the boundaries of gender, sexuality, sexual identity, race, ethnicity, and socioeconomic class. Now it’s true that some groups of individuals, such as people of color or those who are members of the LGBTQIA+ community are at greater risk, but this violence is a very real threat to everybody. In fact, sexual assault and domestic violence are part of the largest public health crises in America right now. Here at Tu Casa, Inc., we are dedicated to supporting survivors from all walks of life through their journey to healing after an assault.
Immediately after an assault, survivors are faced with two major decisions- whether to receive a Sexual Assault Nurse Examination (SANE) and whether to report to Law Enforcement. Both of these decisions can be scary and difficult to make. Often, survivors are afraid to report to Law Enforcement, for fear of not being believed and being blamed for the assault. To choose to receive an examination means that somebody else is going to see the most intimate part of your body, which can feel retraumatizing. Should a survivor in the San Luis Valley choose to receive a SANE, they can reach out to Tu Casa, Inc.; Our SANE Nurses are dedicated to providing trauma-informed and person-centered care, all hinging on ongoing client consent throughout the examination. Tu Casa, Inc. Victim Advocates are able to help survivors explore their reporting options and assist survivors as they determine the best path toward healing for themselves. Should the survivor choose to pursue criminal justice action, our Victim Advocates will work with survivors on an ongoing basis to navigate the confusing criminal justice process.
Often, survivors experience feelings and thoughts of guilt or shame after being assaulted. These feelings and thoughts can isolate survivors from systems of support. Tu Casa, Inc. focuses on providing non-judgmental and supportive services to survivors, and we encourage you to meet survivors in this way too. Healing from any trauma is much easier when we feel we have the support of our loved ones. The best way to connect with a survivor is to actively listen with empathy and let the survivor know you believe them. Try not to “be their hero” and find a solution to every problem, but rather let the survivor guide the conversation and show them you support them no matter what decision they make. It’s important to remember that though we often think we are helping, dictating to a survivor what they need to do moving forward may cause more harm than good. By making decisions for a survivor or pressuring them to make a specific decision, you could be stripping the survivor of control over their own life- something that has already been taken from them during the assault.
Unfortunately, our culture has thought some people that sexual assault is avoidable and if a person is assaulted, they must have done something to be “asking for it”. Thoughts like these are considered victim-blaming, which is one of the worst things you can do to a survivor. Research shows that most survivors know their perpetrators, meaning they thought they could trust this person. It’s never the survivor’s fault that someone they trusted took advantage of them. The response survivors are met with immediately after an assault can have a huge impact on their ability to cope with the trauma and feelings of guilt or shame moving forward. Should a survivor choose you as a safe person to share their trauma with, remember to make them feel supported and remind them the assault is not their fault.
If you or someone you know has been a victim or sexual assault or violence, Tu Casa, Inc. is here to help. Our services for survivors of sexual assault include SANEs, ongoing advocacy, court accompaniment, and assistance filing protection orders and/or creating a safety plan. It’s important to remember that healing isn’t linear and doesn’t look the same for everybody. Tu Casa, Inc. is here to help survivors figure out what healing looks like for them, and to walk beside them as they walk the path to healing.
If you need support or resources, please call our 24-hour hotline at (719) 589-2465.